A Year Later…Pegging

As we approach our one year anniversary of the first time we had a really successful scene, I’ve been musing on pegging, partly inspired by following a bunch of links at Maymay’s.

I like pegging. I like girls with cocks. I don’t feel like my heterosexuality is threatened by this, no matter how many times my vanilla friends proclaim that anything going “up the down staircase” means you’re a [insert slang term for homosexual here.] For those guys, a finger creeping into your backdoor somehow reverses the polarity on your batteries, and *boom* you now crave man-ass. If their conception of pegging is to be believed, an actual cock-like simulacra being shoved into your ass will send you screaming into the arms of the nearest single gay man, who will flip you around and take you, hard and mewling, on the bench of your local gym — you know, like they do.

My wife and I have spent a year messing around with pegging, and I can honestly say I’m no more gay or bi than I was before, which is to say, not much. I keep thinking that I should be enlightened and groove on all of the repressed straight white male desires that I see in mainstream femdom — cuckolding, for instance, or forced bi — but every time I see it, I realize that it holds no interest for me. Honestly, when I really look at cuck porn — and I’ve seen a couple here and there as it slides more into mainstream erotica and porn — the variations of it tweak me the wrong way, especially the racial elements. I’ve got too many black male friends to get any mileage out of the whole “White women are always a millimeter away from throwing themselves into the arms of the sexually superior black male” vibe that seems to underlie it. If it gets you off, great — but it’s just not my scene.

But anyway, there is, apparently, no connection between having a strap-on forced up your ass by a powerful woman and a sudden, unexplained craving for real cock. Admittedly, my study is not scientific.

More to the point, my wife and I have had to explore pegging together. My wife is quite open about the fact that the fake cock is a power symbol — that the weight at her crotch, the weapon-like nature of it, gets her off. There’s this cudgel where her sex is, this battering ram, and it forces its way into my ass. And that’s not the end of it — she then gets to grip me, usually while I’m in an immensely submissive posture on my hands and knees, and just grind and thrust against me while I grunt underneath her.

She doesn’t care about the symbolism, she doesn’t care that she associates the male sex organ with power, she doesn’t care that it doesn’t actually involve clitoral or vaginal stimulation — that it’s not actually her organs doing the work, but a prosthetic — she loves it. She’s unapologetic. To her, her cock is a weapon used to objectify and batter me, and she doesn’t much care what anybody else thinks, because — as she puts it — it’s just too fun.

On my end, it’s taken us some time to find out what and why and how pegging works. On the purely physiological end, it’s pretty obvious — the prostate is a very sensitive place, and a largish cock-like structure shoved in there and rocked around is good fun. But there’s all of the other baggage — do I want to be one of those transparently selfish men ruining Bitchy Jones’ femdom? Is this all about my elevation of the cock above penis-on-vagina sex?

After long, exhaustive study in our home lab, I can honestly say that pegging has not supplanted penis-on-vagina sex. We still have the same amount of the latter that we had before, and if anything, it’s better now.

Psychologically, my wife’s cock is not a surrogate for a guy’s cock. This is not my “second best” way to try to maintain my straight-card while secretly reveling in my bi nature. I don’t get off on being called a slang term for gays while she bangs me — we’ve tried that once, tried to introduce the whole “you’re gay while my cock is in you” schtick, and midway through it, I remember turning and saying, “You know, that isn’t doing anything for me but making me feel weird.” (There was more grunting involved, mind. I was getting pegged, after all.)

And she replied, “Oh, thank God. I was getting bored with that already.”

(Part of our problem with that is the only gay guy in our lives is probably the flat-out manliest guy I know. The testosterone comes off this man in waves. Imagine if your only contact with homosexuality was the most alpha of males you know, and see if you could still connect “homosexuality” with queeny weakness or femininity during a scene. As if either of those have anything to do with real submission or actual real life homosexuality anyway.)

Eventually, sometime around March, I think pegging stopped being “about” anything but pegging for us. She puts on her battering ram or whatever it is, she bangs the hell out of me, and in so doing she overpowers me. If she’s not in the mood to thrust with her hips, she uses the dildo like a knife, stabbing me in the ass. She can use her strap-on or the feeldoe or even the handle to the flogger, but the result is the same — angry penetration that gives us both pleasure. It’s about violence and power and pleasure and all of the rest of it — sexual and gender politics, vanilla assumptions about what a “man” does, all of the rest of that bullshit — has nothing to do with it anymore for us. The space we’ve carved out for pegging is…I don’t know, just ours.

She gets off on pinning me — holding my face to the bed, her hand on my neck and forcing me down, and thrusting inside me while I’m all resistance and tension. She gets off on the violence — stabbing me with her cock, while holding it or it rests inside her sex or while it’s strapped to her. And she gets off the weight, the way it makes her feel, the way I have to face away from her while she does it, my face pointed to the wall when it isn’t forced down. And I get off on her getting off, I get off on the power, the violence, the way her demeanor changes.

And we’re okay with that.

Naturally, this cuts off a lot of pegging porn for us, because it comes with a hell of a lot of baggage. I imagine swinging husbands who just like to watch their wife get pleasure have probably had a lot of porn ruined by the new cuck scene. But it’s okay, because it’s working for us.