…I don’t want to be punched in the face quite so much.
It’s truly weird how that need hits you in the empty prison cells of the late evening. You, alone with your thoughts and your obsessions and your physical need, and you keep spiraling around that need until it starts feeding off of your horniness, and before you know it the need for a little discipline and pain and domination becomes this leviathan, this titanic thing swallowing you up, and all you can think about is letting your mistress beat the living shit out of you until you’re bruised and bloody.
It used to get bad when we lived apart. I used to get crazy needy. But it hasn’t happened so much lately, partly because things are so uncertain — living apart, we knew when our next rendezvous would be. Now? It’s stolen moments. Borrowed time. Furtive bits of pain and domination snuck into boring average vanilla lives.
She’s so good with me. When I let her know I’m feeling like this, she usually tries to satiate me somehow — even if it’s just to get the kink equivalent of licking a little icing off of the beaters, if you know what I mean. But even that little bit reassures me — it comforts me — that I’m owned.
That I’m property.
I need some kind of daycollar or permanent tattoo, I tell you. If I could touch her mark, or the symbol of her ownership, this would all be easier. Or would it turn me on more? Would that constant reminder keep me in a semi-constant state of arousal? Does anybody out there have daycollars or permanent marks from their masters/mistresses? I know This Girl just wrote about a marvelous permanent collar, but unfortunately, I think it would look odd on one of my suits…
Any suggestions, folks?
July 31, 2008 at 7:37 pm
Since you like cutting, your wife could try cutting some kind of permanent design into you. This requires some knowledge to avoid being dangerous, but it sounds like something you might both enjoy.
August 1, 2008 at 4:41 am
I have been marked with a tattoo on my inner thigh and I also wear an anklet.
I just started reading you tonight, so I’m not sure if ya’ll do cutting and such, but that it also a good idea.
August 1, 2008 at 12:38 pm
A tattoo is always a good choice for something permanent. You may find a shop that does branding as well, those seem quite extreme when I have seen them so the symbology is powerful. Oh, and a piercing… somewhere… hidden during the day… hmmmm… that might be nice, with some charm distinct to your relationship dangling.
An anklet soldered on to make it be more permenant may be choice that can be hidden in the vanilla world, but exposed when you are naked and vulnerable.
Just a couple ideas off the top of my naughty head.
August 1, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Dev: I would love to have her cut another design into me. I had her name on my chest for a while when we first started playing with knives and pointy-things. Is there a way you can make sure they’re permanent, though? I tend to heal pretty quickly, and don’t scar easy.
Kari and Miss Honey: Let me run those ideas past my wife. I love the idea of the soldered on ankle-cuff and the thigh-tattoo.
And yes, we definitely do cutting.
And man, do I miss it — we were within an inch of doing it a couple weeks ago and our daughter woke up. I had the worst case of whatever the knife equivalent of blue balls is.
August 5, 2008 at 3:58 pm
I think people do it by cutting the same thing over and over in the same place, but I could easily be wrong.
I have a bit of concern that you’re going to end up dead because neither of you cares about safety. I hope that’s not true. Play safe.