It’s Not So Bad…

I’ll update with scene reports and discussion of the sea-change in my relationship when I have time — work and job applications and the social scene are doing their normal heating up, so time is at a premium. But I will update you all on the aftermath of my positively fevered post concerning whether or not I can be an adequate dominant when it comes to satisfying the wife.

The answer is yes.

I was stressed to fuck about it, nervous, second-guessing myself, and near to panic. But sometime around Saturday night I realized that I should just relax and have fun. I mean, all my life I’ve lived in this haze of self-denial about my kink. Everywhere I look there are all these tales of a dearth of female dommes and female subs. I constantly read about bizarre, covert psych-ops methods of tricking one’s wife into being a dominant or a submissive. If you believe blogs and word on the street, there are thousands of guys out there who would kill to be getting a piece of the action I’m getting, and I’m stressed? I’m panicked?

Screw that.

I could not believe, if you had asked me when I thought about telling my wife that I wanted to submit, that eight months later, my big choice during the weekend would be which one of us got to flog the other and spend a quiet afternoon licking their feet. And once I relaxed and accepted that it was all in good fun, we had a great time. And more than that, by the end of the weekend her submissive itch had been scratched just in time to hit me with a belt in our version of the affectionate-goodbye-quickie.

More to the point, my wife put it into perspective: “There is no reason for us to put our life and our roles into little boxes. I’m a sadist and a dominant but I’ll be honest, there are times when I want to be hurt and humiliated and controlled. We can do whatever we want with this. With our sex life.“

And she’s right. As always.