The Needy Followup: Safe At Any Speed

Reading my last post and talking to my wife — who has suggested I come up in two weeks, God bless her — I started thinking about the raw, stinking need coming off of that post. And it made me realize something I want to talk about, even just briefly:

I trust my wife.

When I get horny and needy and the safety mechanisms get turned off, when I want to take it to the Nth degree, I can trust her. I don’t have to talk about where my line really is, I don’t have to discuss where the boundaries are, because she knows. She knows that what I say I need and what I can handle are too different things. She’s in control. Because as out of control as I get, she never loses hers.

When she was flogging me last week, I kept giving her the thumb’s up sign from my awkward position, jabbing my thumb upwards — More. More, harder, on the anus, on the balls, on the cock. Hurt me. Make me bleed. I’m dizzy and I’m in what I assume is subspace, and my head is in a state where I would let her take a branding iron and mark me forever like a side of beef. But she went as far as she wanted to go, and no further. She knew what she wanted to do, and when she got to where she was content, she stopped. I wanted to bleed and cry and bruise and not sit right for a week, and she took me to just the right spot and…stopped.

I can’t imagine what this would be like if we hadn’t been married for twelve years. I can’t guess what this would be like if we had to negotiate this. I can’t fathom what it would be like if I had to tell her, or I couldn’t trust her, or I doubted her.

But I don’t, because she knows me. I trust her, because I know, deep inside of her, is a person who’s always wanted to be in the spotlight, always wanted to be in total control, always wanted to be strong and self-assured and totally at ease. A superstar. And when we’re playing, the girl who was pushed aside by her parents, and who’s hidden her incredible candle under a bushel basket — that average housewife disappears and in her place is somebody who is selfish and caring and in total control.

No matter how fast I try to take us, she’s the one driving, and so I’m safe at whatever speed she wants to go.