My wife and I were on the phone today, and I asked her if I could have some phone sex. I’m a little tense, and we were both in a good mood, but she demurred. “No phone sex in your future, sweetie, but I will give you permission to come today. You have been waiting for my permission, right?”
And I can’t lie — actually, I’m a terrific bullshitter, but I won’t lie to her, so I said, “Well, most of the time. But late at night, when I don’t want to call and wake you, I occasionally take matters into my own hands. So to speak.” Yay, euphemisms for masturbation. She’s got to laugh, right? Wrong… Read the rest of this entry »
