Knowing Your Place

New Year’s Eve, my wife and I got a babysitter for our daughter, and planned on spending the afternoon and night at home finally having a full-fledged male dominant scene. I was excited — this trip, things have just seemed “off.” If I was going to be honest about why they seemed off, I’d have to lay it at the feet of my wife’s desire to switch.

Now, don’t get me wrong — I was excited about the idea of switching. I was nervous, I was worried I was going to blow it, but the idea of being dominant was intriguing, in a kind of “high school boy’s sex slave fantasy” way. I mean, there’s this woman, and within certain proscribed limits she does what I want. Do I want her to dress up in a naughty outfit? Do I want her to beg me to do awful things to her? Do I want to spank and hit her? Do I want her to get down on her knees and pay homage? She can do all of those things.

But my wife — not so excited. She said she was excited, and a couple of our abbreviated scenes had been hot, but when I tried to figure out what she wanted, when I tried to talk to her about it, I got sarcasm at best, and apathy at worst. At first, I chalked this up to her being “insolent” as part of her play, but I have to admit to getting really frustrated as she dragged her feet and moped about as the scene got closer. If anything, she got more withdrawn as our moment got nearer.

Here’s the thing — I’m too new at this to really comment broadly on other people’s scenes, but there’s an exchange of energy when my wife and I play with me as submissive and her as Mistress. She feeds off of me, I feed off of her, and in the process there’s this “connection.” And while when my wife and I play with me as dominant, there’s an exchange, but it’s not reliable, it’s not back and forth, and it’s not this bright, white-hot explosion for me….