Thank you, BDSM

I’ve occasionally talked about my vanilla days, but I haven’t really talked about my wife’s vanilla days.

If you’re reading this blog, you probably think my wife is some insatiable sex-goddess who can pound my ass for hours, then beat me, then have me satisfy her, then beat me some more, then have me satisfy her some more, wash, rinse, repeat. And, frankly, that’s kinda true. I remember during our first session involving the 5 Ps. She’d had sex with me, pissed on me, bathed me, then collared me for the first time, fucked me in my ass for the first time after forcing me to fellate her cock, then forced me to go down on her while she was still wearing the strap-on, then rode me while I was in shackles until I came, then forced me to eat my own cream-pie. Laying there, physically exhausted in her arms, I sighed as she held me. Then she turned to me and said, “I’m ready for the next round.” I groaned. Never before in our 12 years of marriage had she ever hit my limits. I begged for ten minutes to rest. An erection was a remote mountaintop, unreachable without a long journey — and I wanted a nap before I attempted it.

She grabbed my cock, squeezing it, causing me to writhe, and said, “If you don’t give it up, I will take it. Do you understand?” My cock started to harden, because being taken by my Mistress is hot.

But that’s not the wife I was used to…

No, the wife I was used to was…uninterested in sex, a lot of the time. She liked it when we had it, but she never actually asked for it. When we first started dating, we fucked like bunnies — one day, we had so much sex we wore a blister on my cock — but once we got married and our adult careers were underway — we met when we were 21 — sex took a breather. I remember one particular year we went three months between sessions. THREE MONTHS. And when I did get it, I usually got it by cajoling her or pleading.

Inevitably, once we’d made love, she’d say, “I love that so much. Why don’t we do that more often?” But we didn’t. I was allowed to masturbate as often as I wanted, so I never really got the itch so bad that I got surly, and she was happy with twice a month or so. Occasionally, that number would skyrocket — some weekends, it would be like we were dating again, and when we conceived our daughter, it was because we had a couple weeks where we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. (We’d started working out together, and workouts inevitably led to lovely, rough and ready sex.) Whenever we were on long trips, we’d usually get each other wound up on the drive and have crazy-circus-sex in the hotel room, but those were special occasions.

But really, if I had to explain it, I would have just said my wife didn’t really need sex. I mean, I needed it. I love it. Sex is literally something I’d do all day long. I once lost a job while my girlfriend failed out of college because all we did was have sex like crazy in her apartment. But my wife…sex is fun when she does it, but she never initiated, she never asked for it, she rarely if ever masturbated — maybe once a year — and while she always enjoyed sex, it was never high on her list of priorities.

I blamed myself, but after a while that just became the status quo. I love her, and that’s how she is, I thought.

Then, something changed. And that something was the day she dominated me for the first time. She had me clean her feet. She hurt my nipples while I fucked her. She had me lick her boots as I came. And something changed inside her. And now she’s insatiable. She can’t get enough. Sex, sex, sex. For the first time in our relationship since we got married, she’s on the same wavelength as me, and for the first time ever, she can actually wear my ass out.

What changed? Bondage. Sado-masochism. Domination and submission. Me: hurting; she: hurting me. Pain and obedience. All her life, she needed something to open the vaults, and she finally found it: BDSM.

I can’t even imagine what that’s like. Submission and masochism changed my life, but I knew, deep inside, that I wanted them. I knew, at the very least, that I was submissive. But the wife? She had no idea the evil twin, insatiable, cruel, lustful — she had no idea it was in her. She’s told me she never once ever thought about D/s or S&M or anything. She used to beat herself up about not liking sex as much as I did. She used to worry about me leaving. Now…now she’s threatening to force feed me viagra if I can’t perform on command.

I wonder who else out there is like that, with a sex life like a light with the switch off. One day, their husband asks to be dominated, and *voila* — there’s light.

I love the new wife. I loved the old wife, but man, the new wife — she’s perfect.